Where you gooooo?

Kuala Lumpur has these towers that are pretty tall and impressive. Inside the base of these towers is the biggest mall I have ever been in. This mall includes my favourite food court I have ever been in. Basically what I'm getting at is that the best thing in Kuala Lumpur is the food court in the Petronas towers mall. One dollar for the best mee goreng in existence. And air conditioning. Sweet sweet air conditioning. But two days in that hot mess was enough and we went off to Pangkor island where I proceded to crash my scooter into a wall 5 seconds after it was given to me. $10 CAD in repairs and we were off on our hogs (yes they still allowed me to take it for some reason). After a day of unsafe scooter riding, we went out for beers only to discover that somebody went and slathered Muslims all over Malaysia, thus the Muslim tax: a 100% cap on brew. Naturally we left the country immediately.

I didn't realize every masseuse in Phuket would be so concerned with where i'm going and what i'm doing. NO I DON'T WANT A FUCKING MASSAGE. yet.

The Beach is a shit movie, but the actual beach is pretty amazing. Every single girl I met on Phi Phi was there to go see the beach where dicaprio frolics in the waves. Unfortunately for them all they got was me frolicking in the waves. In hindsight we probably should've been at the full moon party seeing as that's where every single person in Thailand was at that time. But oh well we had Phi Phi to ourselves. If you want some excitement try going out in those classic Thai longtail boats in large ocean swells. Luckily we had the Thai Jack Sparrow at the helm and his confidence was contagious. Almost.

Ko Tao is radical. Snorkeling is super fun. Sunburns are less fun, but quite funny. Koh Phangan is less radical, but has moon parties. To make up for missing the full moon party, we made sure to hit the half moon party, which we eventually found at about midnight in the jungle on Koh Phangan. Due to our late start, we had to catch up to everyone; fortunately buckets of rum and coke are perfectly suited to this. I thankfully woke up to find myself swinging peacefully in the hammock on my Bungalow porch. When my hangover progressed into a fever and cold sweats I decided to see a "doctor". He said that if my fever has not subsided in a couple of days get a blood test because I might have Dengue Fever. Oh good. I'll let you know how that goes.

extremities

Alright blogging is back due to popular demand (just my dad). After 4 months of doing absolutely nothing noteworthy in Australia, I gone n went to New Zealand.

I was picked up from the airport in a Metallica camper van. This came as somewhat of a surprise seeing as it was driven by three Brits who listen primarily to indy rock and hip hop. Blasting the Smiths from the Metallica van drew some confused looks. nonetheless I was stoked.

If my history serves me correct, during World War II Japan dropped a nuclear weapon on Canada, and a chunk of BC was launched across the pacific and landed down near Australia. I think all the bears fell off in the air though because there are only rodents (loads of them). Apparently when NZ was discovered they felt it was a good idea to introduce possums and rabbits, because these animals are sooo helpful to the environment. This makes night time driving fun though ... we made a game to see who could kill the most rodents at night in the Metallica van. I had my first ever kill there. I cried for many miles, as Ed and Sam made deliberate swerves onto the shoulder to generate points. kids these days have no respect for the value of rodent life.

4 people in a camper van is cozy.

EXTREME activities are a big tourist attraction in new zealand. Sophie and I opted for the EXTREME experience of bungee jumping, while Ed joined us as EXTREME photographer. Coming to the bungee site and not jumping made him the target of fairly severe piss-taking by the bungee employees. They were EXTREME. Here is a photo of me shitting myself before jumping. not EXTREME.

Here's a video of some fish